Today I wanted to tackle one of the parts of my body that draws the most negative focus and thoughts: my tummy. I have always carried most of my weight in this area of my body. I have stretch marks, even though I have never birthed children. I have rolls (you know, the kind that babies have but that are not so cute on adults). In a world where flat stomachs are idolized, I have often bemoaned the look of my belly. Even at skinnier times in my life, I have always had visible cellulite (I have never had a smooth, toned stomach). I am aware of my midsection daily when I try to button pants, zip up my coat, or even when I am sitting down and the rolls press against my clothing and make me feel uncomfortable. Because I have expended so much negative energy hating this part of my body, I felt like this would be the place to start, where I need a major mental overhaul.
Ok, here goes nothing…
The above picture I took today, May 4, 2017. I used a filter to soften the image, but you can see where my clothes have left prints, where I have some visible rolls (top and bottom of the image), and if you look close enough, you can see some of the stretch marks. But this post is not about adding to the negative talk, so let me get down to business. I thought a letter to my tummy might be most appropriate:
You and I have been at odds with each other for most of our lives. I have done nothing but ridicule you and judge you, when all you do is house some of the most important organs in my body and work to keep me alive by processing the food I ingest. I have spent many years abusing you: the stretch marks are battle scars from wars I have had with myself and with food. But I am learning that to achieve my goals, I need to consider you an ally.
In times when I have abused myself with unhealthy food choices, you tried to let me know. You screamed at me enraged and inflamed, but after the pain subsided, I continued to ignore you. Now I am trying to listen to you when I think about eating unhealthy foods. I am working to give you the respect and nourishment you deserve. You have done nothing but support me, and I have shunned you and been angry at you. I have blamed you for my unhappiness, but you are not the problem. The more I can love and accept you as you are, the more I can learn to love and accept all of me.
I am sorry tummy. Please forgive me.
I am beautiful, worthy and enough, tummy and all.
#IAMENOUGH #lovethyself #30dayLoveChallenge